why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
