you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
