im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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