i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
