he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
