dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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