ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
