Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
