:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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