they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
