He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
