Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
We talked him into tasing himself.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
