Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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