I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
