Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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