Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize