this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
