You really coming over, don't trick.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i will never coherently bang her
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
