i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
