i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
