I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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