The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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