forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
