You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Sober January is a disaster.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
