i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
