Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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