Where is the hickey?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
