i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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