Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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