How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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