Jerry, you need to find god
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
