It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
