I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize