i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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