so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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