I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
