Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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