She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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