Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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