Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
