i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
