Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
