It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
