Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Still dying that you shit outside
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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