Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
