and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
