There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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