he shaved USA in his pubs
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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