Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
