Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Nicole vs. Life
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
