i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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