So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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