i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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