i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
