I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
