this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
