Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
