had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
