whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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