i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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