just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You took a bar mat shot.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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