Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
