In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
