I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Fuck appropriateness.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
