Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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