So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
