I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
