Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize