Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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