sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
