Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
