oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize