get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize