Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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