is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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