worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
