i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Your penis caused this!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
