i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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